It's Time to Let Your Light Shine

Special Encore Feature by Ali Brown

Oprah Winfrey shares a defining moment in her life when she was in the third grade—the day a book report she’d turned in earned her teacher’s praise. But it also made her classmates whisper, “She thinks she’s so smart.” She says for too many years after that, her biggest fear was that others would see her as arrogant. “The last thing I wanted was for my actions to make me appear conceited. Full of myself,” she remembers.

I too, can remember many times in school when I was called a show-off, smarty pants, or a braggart simply for taking the opportunity to shine. It still happens today, and interestingly enough, I notice it’s often pointed out by those who haven’t learned how to allow themselves to shine.

It all starts in childhood

How does this begin? It seems when we are little girls, most of us are taught to deny praise. We try to fit in—to have friends at school. We downplay our accomplishments and apologize for our bright ideas. We spend all our time caring if what we say and how we look will get others to like us, even if it’s not being true to who we are.

I remember doing this myself. I was proud of my good grades through middle school, but then during my freshman year of high school, something changed. I realized the popular girls I wanted to click with the most were not honor students. I suddenly cared so bad about fitting in, being cool, having friends, and not seeming like a geek that I downplayed how smart I really was.
As some of those girls were in my Spanish class, I would purposely “forget” my homework and didn’t study for tests so I would get Cs when I easily could have worked for As. I actually craved to be… average.

My Spanish teacher, Señora Richa, very much believed in me and knew something was up. When she privately cornered me to ask why I’d held back, I cried because I knew I had not been true to myself.

Schoolyard posturing is one thing, but the problem is that we continue to carry this with us into adulthood. In my coaching programs, I meet many women business owners who are so concerned about what they should be doing and what others think of them that they have lost who they are. Instead of overflowing with purpose and joy and passion, they only know how to fit in, follow the herd, have a lot of friends, and not make a fuss.

Holding back helps no one— in fact, it hurts

I see this constantly, even in women who own their own businesses. One of my coaching clients, who I’ll call Kristy, had a six-figure business but shared with me that she longed to play bigger. She was also a faith-based person, as I am, so we openly talked about God and using universal energy to help fuel her success.

Every time we had a session and outlined her next steps to grow her business, she’d agree to them. But the next time we’d meet, she inevitably would not have gotten anywhere.

As she was paying me handsomely to help her grow her business to seven figures, it was time to interject some tough love.

“Kristy, tell me again, what is your vision?” I prompted.

She replied, “To help one million people around the world…” and went on to describe her dream in detail.

“Then why aren’t you moving forward now?”

“I don’t know. Something is holding me back.”

After much discussion we realized it came down to her own fear of playing bigger. Deep down, she was worried what her friends and family would think of her should she claim this purpose. She was concerned she’d come off as thinking she was better than they were.

“This purpose is your destiny. You know it because you’ve shared it with me,” I said. “Kristy, your playing small denies God, who created you. It also denies all the other people in this world who you are meant to help in this lifetime. If you stay where you are and keep covering up your greatness, they will never be influenced by your teachings. You’re not only hurting yourself, but all those people who will never be graced by your inspiration.”

She took a deep breath, smiled, and said, “Wow, well, when you put it that way! How can I NOT step up?”

It’s time to share your gifts

Every one of us is born with a gift to share with the world. At some point in your life, it was likely hidden under a bushel, shuffled away so as not to draw attention to yourself or to expose how easy this gift came to you. Mediocrity seemed to be the norm—it’s what is accepted most in schools and in the world, so it’s what you chose. You were probably just trying to fit in.

But I’m guessing that today, you’re feeling a bit restless. You know there’s something better out there, and you’re beginning to look for more. You begin looking for how you can shine. The good news is, it’s usually not something you have to go look for, but instead simply something that’s already there and just needs to be uncovered.

I’ve found that allowing myself to shine has come more from letting things go than from taking more things on. What doesn’t fit you anymore? Your current business? Job? Friends? Activities? Responsibilities? Hobbies? Clothes? Let go of what doesn’t feel like the true you, and soon you’ll find your true self emerging.

Today, I understand that my (and everyone’s) true purpose is to be filled with all of who I am. To truly shine brightly.

http://www.thealimagazine.com/its-time-let-your-light-shine